#rambles of a clown

[sinister-yuri]

just a

FAG

and a

HAG

[monsterqueers]

Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).

Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!

If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.

[mikami1992]

The Bats are baffled…

Lately, according to the latest reports, the kidnapping of clowns has been skyrocketing throughout the country… although in one or two days, they usually reappear, of course without remembering anything about what happened or without wanting to talk about the subject, the reports have not been clear at the moment.

And while this is happening, the assaults on government facilities have been on a constant increase… but curiously only one department has been affected, the apparent supernatural investigation department of the USA…

And you might wonder what kind of relationship these two have? Because until an hour ago these two things were not related at all and have been investigated separately…

But everything changed when the Joker disappeared from his cell…

And contrary to the normal situation, the Joker did not escape, he was kidnapped from Arkham by an extraction group, who according to the videos, used gas to put him to sleep in the cell and proceeded to tie the clown up with questionable articles of leather and black latex (Jason will never see red balls in a normal way)….

And when the Bats managed to find him….

It was in the middle of a sacrificial altar as an offering along with spaceships, hamburgers and milkshakes, all of this on a bonfire where they were burning Christmas decorations and classified government papers, while a group of galaxy-robed cultists are singing a Latin version of a modern pop/rock song….

What the hell is going on?

[bluerosefox]

Phantomish Rogues

Team Phantom get ripped from their home universe into the DCverse. With no money or real ID's in this world. Now thats a problem.

Another big problem is that Danny is badly injured and his core kinda put him into a deep cryo sleep. He needs to rest and gather ectoplasm.

Bigger problem Team Phantom have no clue how to get home because they don't know how to decode the Fenton Portal blue-prints, not even Jazz who at the time didn't pay attention to her parents portal work anymore by the time they finished it. The only one who does have an idea is Danny!

Biggest problem, they landed in a place called Gotham that seems to be overrun with actual villains and heroes? (vigilantes). And for some odd reason many of them seem to find them no matter where the Team goes to hide.

Until they can get their hands on a safe space, tech, and money, Team Phantom might have to go a bit Rogue/Villainous if they wanna keep Danny safe until he wakes up.

[violetscanfly]

How to care for your scientist - a visual guide

[foldingfittedsheets]

I had. The most lovely woman as a customer today. She was a clown. She was in her 70’s but couldn’t possibly give up the joy of clowning. And it turned out I’d actually seen her when I was like five at a party.

She was looking to change an order she’d already placed and I was just helping out her and her “friend”. Over the course of things it turned out they were dating. She told me she’d had a crush on him the moment they met but his friend was the one brave enough to ask her out so that was the man she married.

Thirty years later they’d split and he called her up out of the blue to ask her out and she said yes. He was even her sons third grade teacher. It was just adorable. Then she asked to see my hands and tsked when she was my ring because she wanted to set me up with her son. Her fifty year old son.

At the end of my sorting her out she insisted on getting me a drink and brought me a smoothie, a candy bar, and did a little part of her clown act for me. It was a joyous morning.

[ventique18]

The first years (and Malleus because he forced himself into their friend group) encounter shapeshifters in the woods! For some reason, they decided to mimic you, so now your friends have to double check who's the original one before destroying the rest. It actually goes smoothly because...

🐉: "A clone with a different eye color, another one a few inches shorter than my beloved! Why, another one has a completely different body shape-- what grave insults! how dare you call yourselves friends?"

🐺: "Don't those make this task easier? Why are you mad?"

🐊: "IGNORANT HUMAN! Shapeshifters harvest memories from those around the victim. WHICH MEANS MOST OF YOU DO NOT REMEMBER WHAT YOUR FRIEND LOOKS LIKE!"

🌸: "Why's there a version of me who looks dumb as hell? I don't space out and drool at the sky what the f--"

🐊: "YOU DID GET A BARELY PASSING GRADE DURING OUR LAST QUIZ--"

🌸: "SO THAT VISION'S YOURS?! SEBEK, YOU!!"

It was easy to eliminate most of the clones, until a very particular one completely stumps everyone, including Malleus. From the height to the weight, to even a few birthmarks on your belly-- everything is in the exact same place.

🍎: "Oh no, I wonder what we should do? Maybe Ortho can use his sensors to find flaws in what we can't see?"

🤖: "I've finished scanning. Both of them share the same average body heat and pulse rate. The clone is a perfect replica."

🌸: "Honestly, why would it be that hard? Malleus knows for sure that I'm the real one. Right?"

"You" pull his arm in an embrace; affectionately rubbing your body against him and even dipping your fingertips over his carefully-clothed collarbone. You lean up to give him a kiss--

♠️: "Uhm. I think that's the one."

❤️: "Yeah, that one's definitely the imposter. Only one person here would have those kinda memories."

Malleus receives a collective, disappointed side eye from the crowd. Except for Sebek, of course, who remains petrified by what he just saw.

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

"You said you love me exactly the way I am"

[sinister-yuri]

Okay so he fully just grabbed his thigh and thats like not okay

EDWORT 😭😭😭

[fryday]

Everything We Know About The Phagenda

I needed a place to organise all the info we've gotten from DNP about what the hell they're cooking, so this is the place. I might have missed things, so please always check the original post for the most up to date version of contents as I might change or add things over time. Any questions, just shoot me an ask or something. Thank you and happy conjecturing!

I tried to arrange the info roughly chronologically in each category.

It's probably more than one thing

Dan mentioned some things coming "somewhat after and a little bit soon after"

Phil said, "We've got a few things in our mouth at the moment"

Definition of "agenda" suggests multiple things

Money stuff

Phil made his cactus club subscription more affordable in preparation for what he and Dan are doing next

Phil took a question about what they're cooking in his latest Q&A video. He said that something may or may not "happen in the next month", but did not answer the section asking if we should be saving up for it.

Those who RSVP'ed will "be notified first as soon as the news drops" -> presumably related to a limited quantity of items up for grabs, which is why I've included it in this section, but that's just my guess

Concept / Nature of the Thing(s)

Someone on Twitter said, "So the phlonde has been in the works for months if that was the main reason he let his hair grow out" and Dan replied with, "what else is he plotting"

Dan and Phil included a blurred out image of a text message in their video, which Dan called "the draft for something that is top secret".

SuperSeizer (one of Dan and Phil's editors) is in on what's happening (the other person in this interaction is their other editor Kris, who may also be involved, depending on how you read this interaction)

In his birthday livestream, Dan talked about how they revived the gaming channel not knowing what the response would be, and were shocked by the enthusiasm from their audience. "Because it seems like there's a thing here. [...] And we need to be like, celebrate the things, acknowledge the things. So, I guess we can say in the most vague way that we can that Dan and Phil have been cooking."

Dan posted his story with the words, "the time is nigh - want to know what dan and phil have been secretly cooking? / reply to this story with: RSVP / and we will send you a dm as soon as the truth is revealed"

Another definition of "agenda" is "the underlying intentions or motives of a particular person or group".

5 of the images in the TV screens have been identified as of right now: Phil's Video Blog, Hello Internet, Saying Goodbye Forever, Giving The People What They Want, and Something We Want to Tell You

Laylo, the website DNP are using for this announcement, is a platform that creators can use to release merch, tickets, or content.

The initial wave of people who RSVP'ed got their confirmation emails from news@mail.danandphiltour.com with the reply email being dh@danielhowell.com. It was then changed; now the emails come from news@laylo.danandphilshop.com with the reply email being danandphilshopweb@gmail.com.

Dan and Phil would have been aware that they were using the tour email at first, as they would have had to manually enter it themselves. (Thanks @dnpbeats for the investigative work!)

They included a 3-second teaser clip at the end of the Sims fashion makeover episode.

[asterias-corner]

HOW DO I FORGET THIS

ITS CLOWN WEEK! HONK HONK MOTHER FUCKERS! WHO WANTS TO GO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE BY HONKING HORNS

ANYWAY

STARES AT YOU LIKE THIS :3

[lazylittledragon]

today i'm one year closer to reaching my final form of an Old Queer and i'm thrilled

[pistachiopie]

TRAGIC: the cutest little clown candles in the world are not up for sale anymore :(

link 💔

[pestercide]

Shows you my bug collection

[ferretwhomst]

"are you HEARING this shit"

[travalerray]

Li Lianhua's will: I bequeath my dog, my swordplay and my homoerotic rivalry to Fang Duobing